[ Natasha refuses to go to all the possibilities of that which immediately spring to mind. What’s she going to say: You weren’t in control? That doesn’t change how it feels. ]
[Oh, there could be worse scenarios than this one, that's for certain, and it's not something Bucky wants to entertain either. And this is why he likes Natasha, she understands that even if he wasn't in control, he still was the one pulling the trigger.]
Yeah. So if I suddenly disappear and furniture starts moving around on its own in the compound, that'll be me haunting you guys.
[ She also understands that there's a time and a place to have that fight, and to engage on a quip is to set yourself up to lose. Feelings are irrational by their definition.
Still, there is some benefit, for people like them, to be able to feel guilt or shame. After all, their former masters tried so very hard to eradicate anything else but the mission. It's important to have pain as a warning to stop doing something; it's important to feel guilt. ]
I'm not at the compound. Haunt away.
[ She kind of wants to tell him to be willing to follow Tony's lead her -- but this is a group chat, and she barely knows this guy, and she doesn't want to waste either of their time on something that will likely be so inefficient. So, for now, she lets it go. ]
[It's probably unhealthy, but Bucky holds on to that guilt pretty closely, if only to remind himself that the shame and the pain are what sets him apart from the villain HYDRA made him to be. A reminder that his humanity has not been completely erased by years of torture and brainwashing.
Perhaps one day, he'll work through all that trauma and find a better way to think of himself other than through the guilt he feels, but that day isn't today.]
Well, I'm not dead yet, so we'll see how it goes.
[He just plans to give Tony a wide berth in the treehouse, so hopefully, everything will turn all right.]
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getscooperation) wrote2024-04-01 07:14 pm
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You’re right. That’s worse.
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Yeah. So if I suddenly disappear and furniture starts moving around on its own in the compound, that'll be me haunting you guys.
no subject
Still, there is some benefit, for people like them, to be able to feel guilt or shame. After all, their former masters tried so very hard to eradicate anything else but the mission. It's important to have pain as a warning to stop doing something; it's important to feel guilt. ]
I'm not at the compound. Haunt away.
[ She kind of wants to tell him to be willing to follow Tony's lead her -- but this is a group chat, and she barely knows this guy, and she doesn't want to waste either of their time on something that will likely be so inefficient. So, for now, she lets it go. ]
no subject
Perhaps one day, he'll work through all that trauma and find a better way to think of himself other than through the guilt he feels, but that day isn't today.]
Well, I'm not dead yet, so we'll see how it goes.
[He just plans to give Tony a wide berth in the treehouse, so hopefully, everything will turn all right.]
So, where did you got sent off?
no subject